Common Sayings Which Did Not Stand The Test Of Time

(Note: yet another lame draft of something I decided to just put out there so it doesn’t stare at me longingly like a forgotten waif that was the result of a  mistaken relationship betwixt myself and the town pastor.  I know most, if not all, of it is crap, but I have to give it its due before I launch myself into superstardom.  Plus from what I understand of the Internet, many people enjoy crap!  Shit, I’m numbah one!  Enjoyish!)
  • Closer? I hardly even was introduced to her in the parlor after a long series of impersonal letters and closed-door negotiation sessions between third parties!
  • Scalp me once, shame on you.  Scalp me twice, holy shit you cocksucker.
  • Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Fire ugh ugh. Rock.
  • As hardy as a flock of Dodos.
  • Muskets don’t kill people. Smallpox does.  If you’re an Indian and you like blankets.  Suckers.
  • A witch in the river’s worth two on the cart.
  • I like Pike! (sponsored by the Pike Advisory Board)

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3 Responses to “Common Sayings Which Did Not Stand The Test Of Time”

  1. itchylick says:

    Scalp me twice, uh won’t get scalped agin!

  2. Dan says:

    An ale a day keeps the barber away.

  3. Lynn says:

    you are reminding me of Sarah Vowell! Me Wordy Shipmate

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